


The Cat's Paw

by McKay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 18:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/McKay
Summary: Remus learns his pet is even more special than he imagined.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Snupin Santa 2009.

"I still can't believe you named your cat Severus," Minerva said, shaking her head with amusement, and Remus smiled sheepishly in response. Although he and Minerva had been in touch regularly, this was the first time he'd invited her to his flat rather than visiting her at Hogwarts, and she had never seen his pet before now, despite it having been in residence for the last year.

"Well, look at him," he replied, absently stroking the sleek furred cat curled up in his lap. "His fur is totally black, not a speck of white on him, and even his eyes are dark. The vet said she'd never seen eyes that color on a normal cat before. She thinks he may have something magical in his ancestry somewhere." 

"What about that scarring on his neck?" Minerva leaned forward and caressed between the cat's ears; he cracked his unusually-colored eyes open and peered at her suspiciously, and then he made a low noise in his throat that wasn't quite a purr before closing his eyes again. 

"The remnants of an old battle, she said." Remus smiled down at Severus, pleased that he hadn't swatted at Minerva's hand or jumped down and stalked off in a haughty huff. "It makes his voice sound rusty, if that makes sense, but he manages to communicate _quite_ well nonetheless." 

"He hasn't tried to hurt Teddy, has he? Feral cats rarely settle into domestic life well," she pointed out.

"I'm not sure he was always feral." Remus stroked the cat from head to tail, and Severus yawned and began kneading Remus' thigh with his sharp little claws, making Remus wince. "He was in a bad way when I found him, though," he said, thinking back to the day a few weeks after the final battle when he'd spotted a limp, black form collapsed outside of the Three Broomsticks. "I thought he was dead at first, but when I went to check, he hissed at me. He put up a little struggle when I wrapped him up in my cloak, but not much of one. I think he was too weak to protest as much as he wanted to," he added with a grin. "The vet said he was fully grown and disease-free when I brought him in, and he was de-wormed, of course. He's quite tolerant of Teddy, actually. It's adults he seems to take issue with." 

"But not you," Minerva said with dry amusement.

"But not me." Remus chuckled quietly. "I think he figured out who controls the flow of food around here." At the word 'food', Severus popped his head up and looked at Remus hopefully, and both Remus and Minerva laughed. "See? He's quite intelligent, just extremely anti-social, even by cat standards."

"I admit, the name is starting to make more sense," Minerva replied. "Although if the original Severus were here, I'm sure he would have Things To Say about it."

"You've never heard anything, I assume?" Remus asked, and she shook her head.

"No, it's as much a mystery as it ever was." She fell silent for a moment, and when she spoke at last, her voice was tinged with wistfulness. "I would like to think it means he is out there somewhere, and if he is, I hope he is happy at last."

"So do I," Remus replied with a wistful smile of his own before they turned to other topics to finish their tea with. The subject of Severus' whereabouts was one they had already hashed and rehashed over the last year, and neither of them had anything new to say about it.

"At any rate, I didn't come merely to sample your biscuits," she said, her manner turning brisk. "Now that the werewolf anti-employment laws have been repealed, I'm able to offer you a position. Filius has decided to retire, which means I need someone to teach Charms. I know it isn't your preferred subject, but we haven't worked out the curriculum for the new magical defense class yet. When we do, I'll be happy to transfer you."

"I accept," he replied without a second thought.

The pension he received from the Ministry as the widower of an Auror combined with the wages he earned from performing odd jobs when the opportunity arose had sufficed, but he was eager to find a permanent, stable position that would allow him to put money aside for Teddy's future as well as provide for all the on-going needs of a growing child. The prospect of returning to Hogwarts, the one place he had considered anything like home, was appealing as well, and he had no qualms about accepting the offer without taking any time to think it over first.

"Very good." Minerva smiled, seeming quite pleased. "I'll arrange for quarters with a nursery for you in the staff wing and assign one of the house-elves to watch Teddy for you while you're in class." She glanced around at the tiny flat with a not-quite-critical eye. "You needn't wait until the end of August to move in," she added. "I'm sure you'll want to let Teddy get acclimated, and you may want to refurbish Filius' office and classroom."

"Thank you, I'll do that. It will probably take a couple of weeks for me to pack. Would that be too soon?" he asked.

"Not at all."

After another half an hour of chatting about Charms curriculum and suggested textbooks, Minerva took her leave, and after he'd shown her out, Remus glanced down at Severus.

"We're moving to Hogwarts," he informed the cat. "What do you think about that?"

Severus twined himself around Remus' legs, shedding fur on Remus' trousers and purring in equal measure.

_Wolf-thing warm wolf-thing feed wolf-thing touch good wolf-thing_

"At least you'll have another cat friend," Remus said as he bent to scoop up Severus and cradle him close. "Assuming you _want_ another cat friend, that is. Maybe a little socializing will do you good."

There was no response other than louder purring, and Remus scratched behind Severus' ears as he went to see if Teddy had woken up from his nap yet.

* * *

Remus stood back and admired his handiwork; it had taken longer to paint the walls of Teddy's new nursery at Hogwarts in a pale, restful yellow by hand, but it was more satisfying than using magic to do it.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked Teddy, who was ignoring him in favor of crawling after Severus, who was washing himself, one leg extended fully, and appearing to ignore Teddy's approach.

Remus watched, amused by the now-familiar scenario. The first few times Teddy had gone after the irascible cat, Remus had worried that Severus might claw or bite in response, but it had never happened, despite Teddy's tendency to pull Severus' tail, and Remus was no longer worried.

With a happy squeal, Teddy grabbed Severus and hauled him into a tight embrace. As usual, Severus endured Teddy's enthusiastic affection, a look on his furry face that made it clear exactly how put-upon he was.

_Small-thing soft guard protect duty duty duty_

Remus never could figure out why the cat, always so temperamental and fractious with everyone else – including Remus sometimes – put up with so much from Teddy, but he was pleased and relieved. If Severus had shown any sign of aggression toward Teddy, Remus wouldn't have hesitated to relocate him to another home, but Remus had grown accustomed to having him around now, and the loss would have been as difficult for Remus as it probably would have been for Teddy, who adored their cranky pet.

Satisfied that neither child nor cat was going to come to any harm, he returned to the task of decorating the nursery, arranging the furniture, filling the book and toy shelves, and hanging decorations, including a Quidditch mobile Harry had given Teddy for his first Christmas.

The last item was a framed photograph of Tonks that Remus placed on top of the dresser, where Teddy could see it from his crib. The image of Tonks blew kisses to Teddy and frowned at Remus; the photo had been taken during a rough patch of their marriage, so he supposed he couldn't blame the image for still being cross with him. After all, the "rough patch" had lasted from the moment he had been strong-armed into accepting the relationship until a few weeks before Teddy was born. He supposed he should have realized that orchestrating a scene in front of people she knew would support her should have warned him that the Black in her was stronger than one might suspect, but it hadn't occurred to him at the time. He had been too busy feeling cornered to analyze the situation until it was too late, and she had hustled him to the altar and announced her pregnancy shortly thereafter.

He had been far too passive and agreeable, he knew, but she had shown remarkably little respect for him or his feelings; in hindsight, he saw her remarks about his "time of the month" in a more condescending light, and he wondered how she could have loved him as much as she claimed if she had so little respect for him. Then again, he supposed he hadn't earned much respect from anyone, and he was determined to change that. He had nothing to lose by being assertive; certainly being obliging and trying to please everyone hadn't worked, and he wanted to set a better example for Teddy.

"I want to be more like Severus," he said aloud, glancing down at Teddy. "The man, not the cat," he clarified, and Teddy gurgled at him and continued cuddling Severus-the-cat. "Not the bitterness and anger, of course, but like him or hate him, he was always himself, and you always knew what to expect. He had the strength and will to do what he had to do, no matter how difficult. If I could be half as strong as he was – is - I'd be far better off."

Teddy released Severus and cooed, which Remus took as agreement.

"Right, then," he said, bending to scoop up Teddy. "No more hiding, no more people-pleasing, no more passivity. Things are going to be different, and you're going to have a father you can be proud of. I promise you that."

Teddy's only response was an enthusiastic "fwee!", but it was enough.

* * *

Severus slipped through the cat door and prowled along the corridors of the New Place, which was much bigger than Home. He wasn't afraid, however. Wolf-thing and Small-thing were here, and there was something about New Place that stirred up a sense of familiarity deep within him.

He let instinct take him lower into a dark, cool place that reeked of plants and pickled dead things. He knew those scents, although he couldn't name them, and he thought he knew this place somehow, even though he didn't remember being here before.

It was all quite confusing, and he went hunting for mice instead, a simple pleasure that reminded him of the time before Home and his people when he had to hunt to survive, not for the sheer pleasure of it.

Another cat appeared, a female who hissed at him. He stared at her haughtily, and when she got too close, he swatted her across the nose, claws unsheathed. She ran away, yowling, and he went back to hunting until he found a plump mouse to chase.

He wasn't hungry, so he deposited it on Wolf-thing's sleep-place as a gift. When Wolf-thing woke up, yelled, and flung the prized offering across the room, Severus stalked off, affronted, to check on Small-thing, his tail and his nose in the air to show the full measure of his disapproval. From then on, he took his offerings to Small-thing, since Wolf-thing was obviously incapable of recognizing the honor being bestowed on him.

* * *

Once classes resumed, Remus' life fell into a comfortable routine; he was happy to be back in the classroom, and most of his students seemed accepting of him. A few tried to treat him with blatant disrespect, even hostility, until he took House points and assigned them to unpleasant detentions. He found it difficult to be stern at first, but he asked himself what Severus Snape might have done under similar circumstances, and he acted accordingly, albeit not _quite_ as harshly. It wasn't long before the students who harbored prejudice against werewolves stopped flaunting it, at least in front of him, and that was enough. With those who were fearful of him, he was patient and calm, which came far more naturally to him, and after a time, even they began to relax.

Sometimes, Severus the cat accompanied Remus to class, making regular rounds of the classroom as if he was keeping a watchful eye for anyone dozing off or reading _Quidditch Quarterly_ behind their textbook. He always danced out of reach when anyone tried to pet him and gave them a look of haughty disdain before licking his fur as if the merest brush of their fingertips had somehow sullied him.

One afternoon, Remus went down to the dungeons after his classes had ended for the day to collect a dose of the Wolfsbane Potion from Slughorn, and Severus trotted along beside him, seeming at ease. Once they reached the Potions classroom, Severus began circling the room even though there were no students present while Remus drank the potion and chatted with Slughorn about classes and compared notes about students. Severus seemed restless, almost agitated, as if he was looking for something that wasn't there, and he began to yowl louder and louder until Remus snatched him up and carried him away, apologizing to Slughorn on the way out the door.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's got into him. He's never done this before."

_Wrong! Wrong things! Know this place know it my place my room Big-thing get out mine mine mine!_

"Quite all right," Slughorn replied, smiling indulgently. "Probably just the smell. Animal noses are quite keen, you know."

"Yes," Remus replied dryly, "I do."

It took some time for Severus to calm down even after they returned to their quarters, and Remus did what he could to help by stroking him soothingly and offering him distractions in the form of fish-flavored treats. Eventually, Severus curled up in a tight ball in Remus' lap, and if a cat could be said to purr grumpily, Remus would swear that this one did.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus was never certain afterward how long it took for him to regain full lucidity. It came in spurts that lasted longer and grew sharper, but whether it took days, weeks, or even months, he didn't know. All he knew was that he gradually became _aware_ \- first aware of where he was and then of _who_ he was - and then he wondered how the bloody hell he'd ended up as Remus Lupin's pet.

His awareness was tinged with the now-thought of his Animagus form, and he realized it had become easy to living in the moment and let his animal side retain ascendancy. From what he gathered by listening to Remus and Minerva's conversations, the Wizarding world had given him up for lost. They had no idea what had happened to him or whether he was still alive, and that was fine with him. He wasn't inclined to give up his new life just yet. What did he have to go back for anyway? It was gratifying to know that Remus and Minerva seemed concerned about his fate, but he doubted anyone else cared.

His suspicions were confirmed when Potter joined Remus and Minerva for tea one afternoon and Severus' name came up.

"I don't suppose you've heard anything, Harry?" Remus asked, but Potter shook his head.

"It's been well over a year, and no one's seen or heard from him," Potter said, reaching for a chocolate biscuit. Severus stood up in Remus' lap and arched his back in a languid stretch, and then he hopped down and trotted over to sit just out of Potter's reach, tilting his head up and listening to Potter intently. "He's been cleared of the treason and murder charges, so there's no need to track him down, really. The only thing we could pin on him is casting an Unforgivable, but there's too much popular opinion in his favor for that," Potter said, grimacing, and Severus glowered at him. "The Ministry have closed the case, and I don't blame them. Who'd want him to come back anyway? If the greasy git is dead, too bad. If he's alive, I wouldn't care if he never... HEY!"

Severus flicked his tail and sauntered away while Potter sputtered over the river of cat piss running down his leg.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Remus said as he helped Potter clean up his trousers, sock, and shoe, although Severus noticed that he didn't apologize more than once, and he didn't admonish Severus for it, which was gratifying.

From that point on, Potter seemed wary of him and kept a safe distance when visiting Remus, which suited Severus just fine. No doubt others shared Potter's opinion of him, and he suspected he might have garnered more good will if he _had_ died. It was far easier to forgive and forget someone's sins when they were dead.

By the time October rolled around, Severus' lucidity no longer came and went; he was fully himself once more, and while he could change out of his Animagus form and resume his human life, he didn't want to. He thought he could be perfectly content to spend the rest of his life as a house-cat, and he no longer thought about "when" he would return to his human form permanently but rather "if" he would.

His life as Remus' pet was a damned sight better than his life as Dumbledore's spy, after all. Granted, cat food and water weren't as satisfying to his palate as roast beef with veg and a robust wine, but he had the freedom to roam Hogwarts without the responsibility of corralling the spotty-faced hellions, and as chagrined as he was to realize it, he _liked_ being petted. Teddy was a bit rough at times, but the child obviously adored him, and Remus never let Teddy hurt him. A little tugging on his ears and tail was a small price to pay for being coddled and spoiled.

Remus _did_ spoil him. In fact, it was surprisingly easy to wrap Remus around his paw; all it took was a little purring, and Remus would stroke him from ears to tail for as long as he liked. He had plenty of catnip-filled toys, his own sisal scratching post, porcelain bowls with paw prints on them, and a fancy collar, and he didn't have to do anything life-threatening to get them. Remus carried him, cuddled him, petted him, even talked to him, and Severus soaked up the attention like a greedy sponge. After decades of forced self-sufficiency and danger, he was ready to be doted on.

In return, he was willing to sacrifice his dignity enough to chase little balls with bells in across the floor and bat at dangled toys if it made Teddy laugh or Remus smile, and on the nights of the full moon, he kept the wolf company, playing with the wolf for a while before curling up on the hearth rug with it to sleep until dawn. It was a small way to offer recompense for food and board and all the petting he wanted. The feline side of his Animagus form recognized them as belonging to it, and his human side was content to agree. He'd always been the protective sort, in his own way, and now he had a little family of his own to look after, even if the greatest danger posed these days was an encroaching mouse or insect.

Sometimes, he slipped out of their quarters late at night and changed back into human form just to assure himself he still could if need be, and he prowled the corridors, a silent shadow blending in among shadows. It was a bittersweet reunion with the place that was the closest thing to a home he'd ever had, but he wanted to see the repairs and reconstruction with his human eyes. Sometimes, memories rose up, dark and suffocating, and he switched back to cat form to suppress them again, taking refuge in the animal-now that gave him safe distance from all that haunted him as a man. He limited his excursions to avoid getting caught as well, but when he heard Minerva telling Remus about the Slytherin students swearing there was a new ghost in the dungeons, he couldn't help but be amused.

"They say it's a tall, dark, looming figure," she said with an impatient tut. "It sounds more like the byproduct of their over-active imaginations than a real ghost, if you ask me."

"But tall and dark?" Remus gave her a dubious look. "You don't suppose Severus..."

"No." Minerva shook her head firmly. "His portrait hasn't appeared in my office, and even though his term only lasted a year and was granted under-" She paused as if searching for the right word. "- _unusual_ circumstances, I believe he would be honored in portrait form if... if something had happened to him. Severus is out there somewhere, and he's probably enjoying making us wonder what the devil happened to him, the contrary man."

Severus was touched by her apparent concern for him, enough that he jumped off Remus' lap and went to rub against Minerva's shin, purring. She glanced down, appearing startled, but she didn't hesitate to scratch behind his ears.

"You've been given a great honor indeed," Remus said, chuckling. "I wonder what brought that on."

"Perhaps he heard his name and thought I was talking about him," she said, stroking Severus' back gently.

"You're probably right."

Severus leaped gracefully into Minerva's lap and curled up, purring, and he stayed there for the remainder of her visit.

From that point on, Minerva never failed to bring a treat for him every time she visited Remus, and she kept a jar of cat treats on her desk in case Severus visited her, which he took to doing on a regular basis. He found he liked the tuna flavored treats best, although chicken-flavored was a close second. The liver treats, however, were vile, and he spat them out.

Remus' students learned to be careful when he made a circuit of the Charms classroom; it only took a couple of times of having their ankles swatted by sharp claws to learn not to read magazines or pass notes during class. "It's like the bloody animal _knows_ ," they muttered to each other, shaking their heads, and Severus perched on Remus' desk as they filed out of the room and gazed at them with the inscrutability that only cats can master.

For the first time in his life, Severus was content; he had his life sorted exactly as he wanted it, and he wanted things to stay just as they were - which was why he wasn't best pleased when Kingsley Shacklebolt came sniffing around Remus. At first, Severus didn't think anything of it. From what Severus had gathered, Remus was serving in an advisory capacity while Shacklebolt overhauled the Ministry's laws and programs related to werewolves, thus it made sense that Shacklebolt would visit Remus occasionally. But then occasionally became regularly, and regularly became frequently until Severus began paying more attention to the nature of Shacklebolt's visits.

To his dismay, he realized they weren't discussing business at all. No, Shacklebolt was flirting with Remus - and Remus was flirting back! Severus put aside processing the fact that both men were either gay or bisexual - a fact he'd never even suspected - for the time being in favor of figuring out how to get rid of Shacklebolt before things got too serious. He didn't dislike Shacklebolt; the man was intelligent, competent as both an Auror and minister of magic, and handsome; Remus could do far worse. However, Remus and Teddy were _his_ , not Shacklebolt's, and he didn't want someone coming into their home, messing up their nice, orderly lives, and trying to take over. Unfortunately, the budding romance showed no signs of withering on its own; on the contrary, Shacklebolt invited Remus out to dinner, and Remus accepted with alacrity.

"Then it's a date," Shacklebolt said in his smooth, deep voice, gazing into Remus' eyes as he clasped Remus' hand between both his own.

Severus longed for the ability to vomit up hairballs at will.

It was difficult to scheme properly while in feline form, and so late one night, he hid himself away in a small, rarely used storeroom in the dungeons where he wouldn't be discovered, and he changed form. After two hours of pacing and wracking his brain, he finally decided what to do, and he returned to their quarters in a far better frame of mind.

On the night of the date, Remus came out of his bedroom dressed in his nicest robes, which he fussed over even though there were neither wrinkles nor lint anywhere on them; his wavy hair was combed neatly, and he'd shaved off his five o'clock shadow. Severus even detected a subtle cologne. Despite his obvious nerves, Remus was clearly looking forward to the outing, and Severus felt a twinge of guilt for what he was about to do. He almost reconsidered until Shacklebolt arrived and greeted Remus with a warm kiss on the cheek that made Severus growl.

"Ready?" Shacklebolt asked, and Remus nodded.

"Let me check on Teddy one last time," he said. "I haven't been out in the evening without him before, and..." He smiled wryly and gave a little shrug.

"I understand," Shacklebolt replied, and Remus headed off to the nursery, leaving Severus alone with Shacklebolt - just as Severus had hoped.

Forcing himself to purr, he sauntered toward Shacklebolt, who bent and extended his hand. "Hello, puss," Shacklebolt said, and under different circumstances, Severus might have approved of his friendly tone. "I hope you and I will get to be friends."

 _That_ spurred Severus' will to go through with his plan, and as soon as he was in reach, he sank his teeth into Shacklebolt's hand. Shacklebolt yelped and snatched his hand back, and Remus came running, wide-eyed with concern. As soon as he heard Remus' rapid footsteps, Severus collapsed on his side and began mewling piteously, and much to his satisfaction, Remus went to _him_ first, not to Shacklebolt.

"What happened?" Remus demanded, frowning up at Shacklebolt while Severus lay limp beneath Remus' gentle hand, continuing his litany of pitiful noises. "What did you do to him?"

" _Me_?" Shacklebolt stared at him incredulously. "The little beast _bit_ me!"

"Well, I warned you he isn't friendly to strangers," Remus retorted, still stroking Severus, who flinched and shivered as if even that light touch caused unutterable agony. "He's hurt! What the bloody hell did you do?" Remus rose to his feet, his fists braced on his hips as he confronted Kingsley.

"Remus, I swear I didn't do anything," Shacklebolt protested, spreading his hands wide. "He walked over, I held out my hand, and he bit me. That's it!"

"He's in pain. There must be a reason for it."

"I don't know what happened to him." Shacklebolt frowned down at Severus, who glared back at him when Remus wasn't looking. "All I know is that I didn't touch him."

Remus made a noncommittal noise and gathered Severus up carefully in his arms. "Well, I can't go anywhere when he's like this," he said matter-of-factly, cradling Severus against his chest.

"What?" Shacklebolt looked dismayed at that, and he turned a pleading look on Remus. "I'm sure he'll be fine."

Severus mewled again and shuddered in Remus' arms just in case Remus was inclined to be persuaded, but Remus shook his head.

"No, I'm sorry. Perhaps another time," he said, already showing Shacklebolt to the door, and Severus gazed at Shacklebolt smugly, knowing he'd won. The seed of doubt had been planted firmly enough that Remus wouldn't feel comfortable accepting another invitation.

"Sure," Shacklebolt said, glancing sourly at Severus as if he realized the truth as well. "Another time."

After that, Severus had Remus all to himself again, which was exactly how he wanted it. His life might had continued on that way indefinitely if he hadn't found out Slughorn had suffered an apoplectic attack and had been taken to St. Mungo's, which meant he would be unable to brew the Wolfsbane Potion for Remus in November. Minerva had delivered the news, and while they both seemed concerned about Slughorn's health, Remus was obviously disappointed about the potion as well.

"There's always the Shrieking Shack," Minerva pointed out, and Remus had smiled and nodded gamely, but Severus could detect the changes in his scent that spoke of dismay.

That night, after Remus and Teddy were asleep, Severus changed back to human form, and he consulted Remus' calendar, his human eyes and brain better suited for processing the writing than a cat's. The full moon was ten days away, which meant Severus had a little time to prepare, and he shifted back to cat form to begin.

First, there was the matter of gaining access to Slughorn's workroom, which was easily done by changing back and casting a wandless _Alohomora_. He slipped into the room and locked the door behind himself more securely, and he prowled around the room, taking inventory of ingredients and equipment. Fortunately, Slughorn had everything he would need in stock, and by the time he trotted back home as quickly as his four legs would carry him - with a detour to chase Mrs. Norris out of the dungeon just for fun - he was satisfied that he would be able to fulfill his plan.

A week before the full moon, Severus spent the entire night locked in Slughorn's workroom, brewing the Wolfsbane Potion; by dawn, he was exhausted, but he slipped silently through the corridors of the school with a steaming goblet of the brew in hand. He left it outside the cat door, transformed, went through the cat door, and then changed back to human form so he could lift the door and grab the goblet, which he left on Remus' bedside table. Then he transformed back into a cat and curled up on Remus' spare pillow, his tail tucked around his nose, and he was asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

Some time later, he was roused by Remus' exclamations of surprise at seeing the potion, and he purred smugly before going back to sleep, satisfied with a job well done.

"I've asked everyone, Severus," Remus said that evening as he sat in his chair by the fireplace with Severus in his lap. "No one is admitting they brewed it. Minerva says she doesn't know anyone who has the necessary skill _and_ who is available to brew it on short notice, not to mention who would charge a fee that's payable for someone earning a teacher's wage," he added wryly. "If I didn't know it was impossible, I'd say it was Severus' doing. There was a familiar taste... something only he added, maybe... but I know it couldn't have been him."

"Mrr," Severus replied, butting his head beneath Remus' hand in a blatant hint, and Remus chuckled and began stroking him.

"The really odd thing is that the house-elves say none of them were asked to deliver it to me. So how did the cup get in my bedroom, I wonder?" Remus mused.

Severus simply yawned and kneaded Remus' thigh, certain that he'd taken care of Remus quite well.

He was more cautious the next night; given Remus' curiosity about the mysterious benefactor, he knew there was a chance that Remus might sit up and wait to see for himself who delivered the potion, but Remus showed no sign of deviating from their normal bedtime routine. After Teddy had been bathed and the nightly bedtime story had been read, Remus took some time to read and indulge in a little brandy while Severus dozed on his lap; around ten o'clock, Remus closed his book and went off to shower and change clothes, and then he read in bed a little while longer before extinguishing the torches, and Severus took his usual place on the spare pillow.

He waited until all signs pointed to Remus being asleep to sneak out again and brew another batch. He left out the winter savory, an ingredient he added to help mitigate the taste; as foul as the brew tasted with the winter savory, it was even worse without the spicy herb, although he'd begun adding it for the health benefits after Remus had once mentioned having problems with his digestive system following a transformation. Not that Severus had ever cared about the state of Remus' bowels, of course, but he had always enjoyed the challenge of tweaking a recipe and making it better, especially one as complex as the Wolfsbane Potion.

He peeked into Remus' bedroom before entering with the fresh dose, but Remus lay quiet and still, and so he tread stealthily across the floor and placed the still-steaming goblet on Remus' bedside table as before. Before he could step back and transform into cat form, however, the torches in the room flared to life, and he felt strong fingers clamp around his wrist; he looked down with dismay to see Remus sitting up, awake and alert.

"Severus?" Remus gaped up at him with disbelief. "You're alive! Where the bloody hell have you been all this time?"

Severus tried to tug his wrist free, but Remus tightened his fingers, making it clear he wasn't about to let Severus escape.

"Oh, no." Remus threw back the covers with his free hand and climbed out of bed, looking disconcertingly fierce for someone with bed-head. "You aren't going anywhere until you've answered a few questions. Why haven't you let anyone know you're all right? Where have you been?"

Severus wracked his brain to come up with a plausible response. "Away," he said, his voice sounding raspy and harsh.

"Away?" Remus stared at him, frowning. "What kind of answer is that?"

Severus looked away, rubbing his forehead as agitation welled up within him. He hadn't interacted with anyone as a man in over a year, and he hadn't been very good at it even when he wasn't out of practice. He didn't know what to say or do that would satisfy Remus, since he didn't think admitting he'd been Remus' pet would go over well, and he didn't want to give up his refuge anyway. The problem was that his body was acutely aware of the warmth of Remus' fingers and wayward thoughts of Remus' hand stroking human skin rather than fur crowded his mind. Apparently growing attached to Remus as a cat had caused his human side to grow attached as well - and in ways he hadn't expected.

Overwhelmed, he shook his head, unable to formulate any kind of response, and Remus' expression softened, as if he realized Severus was growing distressed.

"I'm sorry," Remus said quietly. "I didn't mean to interrogate you. It's just that Minerva and I have wondered whether you were all right. We hoped you were still alive, but we weren't certain, and you have to admit it's rather shocking to have you turn up in my bedroom like this," he added with a hint of wry humor.

"I brought the potion." Severus pointed to the goblet with his free hand. "You should drink it."

Remus glanced at the goblet and back at Severus quizzically. "How did you know I needed it?" 

"I heard about Slughorn," Severus replied, which was true enough. Unfortunately, Remus wasn't content with letting it go at that.

"How? If you knew what happened to him, then it sounds like you've been keeping up with what's been going on here. If that's the case, why didn't you just come back?" Remus pressed, tightening his fingers around Severus' wrist.

"Because I didn't want to!" Severus wished he could Apparate away and avoid the confrontation brewing, but he was trapped. The best he could do was take refuge in half-truths and hope it was enough. "I was content where I was."

"Then coming back just to deliver the Wolfsbane Potion to me makes even less sense," Remus pointed out. "You never seemed to have enough regard for me to show such altruism before, so what brought it on now?"

Severus couldn't very well admit it was because he considered Remus and Teddy his responsibility now, and he had no ready answer for Remus' question. "Why does it matter?" he snapped, deciding a good offensive strategy might be the best defensive strategy in this situation. "You got the potion when you thought you would have to spend the night in the Shrieking Shack. Why can't you simply be grateful instead of questioning my motives?"

"Because I can't begin to fathom why you would return here for the sole purpose of brewing the potion for me after you've been off somewhere without a word to anyone for over a year!" Remus' frown deepened as he gazed up at Severus. "I _am_ grateful, but surely you understand why I'm curious as well."

"Just leave it, Remus," Severus said wearily. He longed to escape into the safety of his cat form, but he couldn't do that until he was out of Remus' sight, which meant he was trapped.

Remus stared at him, seeming taken aback. "Are you in danger? Is that it?"

"No!" Severus glared back in exasperation, yanking harder in a useless attempt to free his wrist. "I'm fine, I'm safe, I'm content. That's all you need to know!"

"I beg to differ, and I know someone else will, too."

Remus grabbed his wand off the bedside table, and Severus watched in growing dismay as Remus' patronus appeared. He had no doubt to whom Remus was sending a message, and he dragged his feet as Remus led him into the lounge area of their quarters; as he expected, Minerva arrived mere minutes later, her tartan dressing gown tied tight and her hair in a long braid.

"Severus!" she exclaimed, and her obvious relief at seeing him alive and well might have made him feel a trifle better had she not immediately rounded him. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you all this time! You couldn't send an owl to let me know you were all right, but you can sneak into the castle to visit Remus?"

"I was delivering the Wolfsbane Potion, not paying a social call," Severus replied, drawing himself up with some of his old hauteur.

"In the middle of the night, no less." Minerva looked him up and down and tutted disapprovingly, and he tried not to have flashbacks to First Year Transfiguration class. "I don't understand this, Severus. Why didn't you contact anyone?"

By that point, Remus had released his wrist, and Severus briefly considered transforming and fleeing, but he knew he owed Minerva an explanation at least; she had been his secret ally in that last, harrowing year at the school, funneling information to the Order on his behalf even while she pretended to loathe him as much as everyone else did.

"At first, I couldn't," he admitted at last. "I wasn't really myself."

"What on earth do you mean?" she asked, watching him with visible concern.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, hating to give up his secret - and his comfortable life - but there was no other recourse open to him. He shifted forms, remaining a cat just long enough for them to get a good look at him before returning to human form - and then the floodgates burst open. Both Remus and Minerva unleashed a torrent of questions in tones ranging from incredulous to bordering on angry until he held up both hands and shouted, "Stop!"

Mercifully, they fell silent, and he sank down in a nearby chair before beginning to explain.

"I have been an Animagus for a number of years," he said, turning his gaze toward the fire rather than toward either of them. "Albus encouraged me to learn in secret because he thought it, like Occlumency and Legilimency, might be a useful skill for a spy to have. I am not entirely certain how I ended up in that form during the battle. The last thing I remember is lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. I had taken the anti-venom I developed after Arthur Weasley was attacked by that damned snake, which helped. I vaguely remember attempting a healing charm. After that, I remember nothing until my consciousness began returning in fits and starts, and I found myself living here as Remus' pet. My human awareness and sense of self were repressed most of the time I was presumed missing."

"Perhaps being in familiar surroundings brought you back," Remus mused speculatively. 

"Perhaps." Severus inclined his head in acknowledgment of the point.

"But if you regained your awareness after coming back here, why didn't you let us know?" Minerva asked. "Why did you remain in cat form?"

"I liked it better than living as a human," Severus replied simply. "I fared far better as Remus' pet than as Albus' spy."

Remus appeared both pleased and abashed by that remark, but Minerva was not so easily satisfied. 

"Well, the cat is out of the bag now, so to speak," she said briskly. "You've had your holiday, but I cannot imagine you thought to hide away as a house cat for the rest of your life. I'll contact Kingsley in the morning and see about getting your home, belongings, and bank vault restored to you. You've been pardoned, you know, and there isn't any reason why you cannot pick up your life where you left off."

 _Because I don't want to_ , Severus thought, but he didn't argue with her. She was right, and he knew it. He couldn't return to being a pet now that Remus knew the truth; he had to face reality once more whether he liked it or not. 

The next few days passed in a blur as Minerva took him in hand and set about organizing his new life. He was given temporary quarters elsewhere in the castle with access to Slughorn's workroom, so he could brew the Wolfsbane Potion, although he had it delivered by house-elf; he'd hoped Remus would extend an invitation to remain, but that hadn't happened. The only contact he had with Remus was a brief and awkward conversation when he'd asked about Teddy.

"How will you explain it to him?"

"I don't know." Remus sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. "He's too young to understand fully. All he'll know is that his furry friend is gone. I could get another cat, I suppose, but..."

"It won't be the same."

"No."

All too soon, Severus found himself back at Spinner's End with a new wand and his old belongings back in place, but he spent several hours aimlessly roaming around the house like a ghost, feeling out of place in his own home. He missed the simplicity of his cat-life; he missed his people, and the sense of disconnection and isolation became so great than he transformed just so he could yowl out his misery, his cries echoing off the walls of the empty room.

As if it wasn't enough, he found himself the subject of curiosity and scrutiny. Reporters, Aurors, members of the Order, Weasleys, Potter. They all came knocking on his door, asking questions and demanding answers until he finally scrawled "no comment" on a piece of parchment, affixed it to his front door, and refused to answer any further knocking, owl posts, or fire calls. He didn't want to talk about Dumbledore or what happened to him in the Shrieking Shack during the battle, he didn't want to talk about what it was like to live as a cat, and he definitely didn't want to talk to Shacklebolt about how lucid he'd been on the night of the ill-fated date.

One night, he sat by the fire and looked around the room, which was somehow both familiar and foreign, and the silence was broken only by the steady ticking of the clock on the mantle. There was no talking, no laughter, no unintelligible baby-babble. He hadn't realized how accustomed he'd grown to cohabiting with Remus and Teddy until he was on his own, and the solitude he had once preferred had become loneliness.

He hadn't asked for his house or his things back, and he didn't want them. What he wanted was something he could no longer have, but that didn't mean he had to remain here, either. Resolute, he rose to his feet and strode to the front door. Once outside, he locked the door and glanced up and down the street to make certain no one was about, and then he transformed. With his tail held high, he trotted down the sidewalk toward the grocer's, never once looking back and never intending to return.


	3. Chapter 3

When Remus arrived at Spinner's End with Teddy in his arms and Minerva by his side, he felt his stomach sink to his shoes when he saw the note on Severus' door. Remus had never imagined that perhaps Severus might end up swamped with visitors and questions, but if he'd felt the need to warn people off, then he must have been.

"I wonder if this is why he hasn't been responding to our letters," Remus said, glancing at the front window to see if he could get a glimpse inside, but the curtains were drawn.

It had been three weeks since Severus had returned to Spinner's End, and it had been three weeks since either Remus or Minerva had heard from him, despite their efforts to contact him. Although to his chagrin, Remus had to admit he hadn't tried until the past week, when his embarrassment over having lived with - and slept with and changed clothes in front of - Severus had faded enough for him to believe he could face Severus without any awkwardness. Now, however, he wondered if he should have tried sooner, and he was glad he had brought reinforcements. Severus might have found it difficult to ignore Remus alone, but he would find it much harder to ignore all three of them, and Remus had no qualms about using Severus' seeming attachment to Teddy as leverage if necessary.

"Perhaps," Minerva replied as she stepped forward and rapped sharply on the door, while Remus kept an eye on the curtains to see if Severus peeped out the window. A few moments later, Minerva knocked again, harder this time, and she called out to Severus. Calling out escalated to shouting, but Remus couldn't hear any sounds of movement from within; either Severus was holed up somewhere out of earshot, or...

"I think we should go in," Remus said, and Minerva looked at him with visible concern.

"I think you're right," she agreed as she drew her wand. "If he's being stubborn, he'll simply have to endure a lecture on ignoring guests, and if he isn't... Well, I won't feel badly about breaking into his house, then." She cast a spell, and whatever the results were made her stare at the door, her eyebrows climbing in surprise. "There are no protections," she said. " _Alohomora_!"

The front door swung open easily, and Remus followed her inside, glancing around while she went straight to the bookshelves and opened a hidden door with a tap of her wand; Remus could see a staircase, and Minerva stood at the bottom of it and called out for Severus again.

"I don't think he's here," Remus said, running his forefinger along a tea table near the sofa and leaving a streak in the thick layer of dust.

"Well, we can wait for him to return," Minerva said, turning to head toward the lounge.

"No, I mean, I don't think he's been here in quite some time." He held up his dust-covered finger for her to see. "Does this look right to you?" 

"No." Minerva approached him, the concern in her eyes deepening into worry. "No, not at all. You wait here. I'll check upstairs and see if his things are still here."

Bouncing Teddy on his hip, Remus made a quick tour of the other rooms downstairs to see if there was any sign of a struggle, but he saw none. Every room he looked in appeared as if Severus had stepped out; there was even a tea cup and an empty bowl on the drying rack in the kitchen sink, seemingly waiting to be put away. He didn't find it at all reassuring.

By the time he returned to the sitting room, Minerva was coming downstairs, and she shook her head when she saw him. "His clothes are still in the wardrobe," she said. "I couldn't see anything missing, not clothes or toiletries or brewing supplies. Everything was where it should be."

"Except Severus," Remus murmured.

"Seh-wus," Teddy echoed, his little face crumpling at the mention of their former pet. It hadn't been easy trying to help Teddy understand why his furry companion was gone, and Remus had had to soothe more tears over the past three weeks than he cared to think about. 

"There wasn't any sign of forced entry that I saw, and I didn't find any evidence of a fight," Remus said. "If all his things are here, but _he_ isn't, that doesn't leave too many options."

"Only one that I can think of," Minerva said grimly. "He's running around as a cat again."

Remus couldn't disagree, and in fact, he hoped that was the case rather than anything more sinister, but he couldn't shake a growing sense of guilt. "We have to find him and bring him back to Hogwarts, then," he said firmly, earning an astonished look from Minerva. "This is our fault, really. He'd been living as a cat for over a year, and we didn't give him any time to adjust before chucking him back here and leaving him on his own. Considering he'd been lucid only two months or so, I don't think he was ready for this."

"I hadn't thought of that," Minerva admitted, and Remus smiled wryly.

"Neither had I."

Finding Severus proved less difficult than they thought it would be. There was cat hair all over one of the chairs by the hearth, which they used to cast a tracking spell that led them straight to a narrow alley between the grocer's and a music shop, where they found Severus emerging from a rubbish bin with a fish head in his mouth. As soon as he spotted them, he dropped the fish head and hissed at them, his back arched and his fur bristling, and Remus could tell he was on the verge of taking off as fast as his four feet could carry him. Fortunately, Teddy spotted him and shrieked, "Seh-wus!" At that, Severus froze, appearing torn between staying and going, and Remus had no qualms about forcing his hand. He knelt and lowered Teddy to the ground, supporting Teddy so he wouldn't fall over as he stretched out his arms and continued calling out for "Seh-wus".

Severus shot Remus a baleful look, as if he was quite aware of how he was being manipulated, but it didn't stop him from plodding over to Teddy and allowing himself to be grabbed and hugged tightly by the ecstatic little boy.

"Come back to Hogwarts with us, Severus," Remus said, holding Teddy securely. He didn't dare risk touching Severus himself, since he didn't doubt Severus would unleash either claws or teeth on _him_. "Teddy misses you, and we made a terrible mistake in making you go off by yourself."

Severus made a low growling noise in his throat, but whether it was agreement or the feline version of profanity, Remus wasn't certain. 

"You don't have to transform back if you don't want to," he added, trying to reassure Severus that they weren't going to force him into anything. "But if you're going to remain in this form, I'd rather you were at the school rather than living in the streets, especially during winter."

Severus peered suspiciously at him, as if trying to assess the truth of his words, and after a minute or two, Severus released a grumbling sigh and relaxed in Teddy's arms, which Remus knew was about as close to consent as they were likely to get.

"You don't mean you're going to take him back as a pet, are you?" Minerva stared at him incredulously. "Remus, he's a man, not a cat! He can't hide from the world this way forever."

"I know, but obviously, he's not ready for the world yet," Remus replied, stroking Severus' ear lightly to see if the touch would be tolerated, and it was. "Considering what he went through during the war, I think he's due a time-out if he wants to take one. He's a strong man. He'll pick up his real life when he's ready. In the meantime, I think we've seen that pushing him into it will only do more harm than good."

"I suppose you're right," she agreed. "Well, the students will be leaving for the Christmas holidays tomorrow, so he can have some peace and quiet for a few weeks, although how I'm going to explain his presence when they get back, I have no idea." She rounded on Severus and shook her finger at him. "Not to mention you're expected to register properly as an Animagus as soon as possible."

Severus flattened his ears and hissed at her, and Remus could well imagine what the feline-to-human translation of _that_ was.

"For now, let's get him back to Hogwarts," Remus said, trying to diffuse the situation before Severus decided to take off again. "We'll worry about paperwork later."

For the first couple of days, Severus remained close to Teddy while ignoring Remus entirely - and making it crystal clear that he was ignoring Remus. It was amazing, Remus thought, how cutting Severus could be without saying a word or even having human features. He didn't want to push Severus, but he didn't want to let things continue as they were either; since Severus seemed likely to continue ignoring Remus from now until doomsday, Remus decided to make an overture in hopes of drawing Severus out.

Instead of having dinner in the Great Hall with the few students and staff members who had remained behind for the holidays, he requested that dinner enough for three be delivered to his quarters. He wasn't so blatant as to set out a place for Severus, but once Teddy was settled in his high chair with his roast beef and vegetables cut up into small pieces, Remus served himself and cast a subtle charm that would help the succulent scent of the meat permeate the suite of rooms.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before Severus sauntered in, his little black nose twitching as he followed the scent to the small dining table. Remus pretended not to notice at first, and he didn't look at Severus when he issued a casual invitation, as if it was little consequence to him what Severus did. "There's plenty here if you'd like to join us, but I'm not serving you anything in a cat bowl."

After a long, silent moment during which Remus had to fight hard not to look, Severus transformed and took a seat across the table from Remus. Teddy watched, wide-eyed, as a new person joined them, and then he pointed one smushed carrots-covered finger at Severus. "Seh-wus!"

Remus glanced at Teddy, startled by the observation, but either Teddy had witnessed Severus' shift from cat to human form or perhaps his own innate transformative abilities gave him the ability to recognize change in others. Either way, he didn't seem upset, which was a relief to Remus.

"Yes, that's right," he affirmed with a nod. "That's Severus." Without another word, he retrieved a place setting for Severus and gestured to the serving dishes. "Help yourself," he said casually.

They ate in a silence that wasn't entirely comfortable; for his part, Remus wasn't sure what conversational tactic to take that wouldn't sound like he was pressuring Severus again until he finally remembered something Minerva had told him.

"Minerva said some issues of some potions journal you subscribed to arrived while you were away," he said, glancing at Severus, who appeared to be focused intently on his food. "She said she saved them for you. I can pick them up for you, if you're interested in reading them."

Another long moment stretched out between them before Severus replied. "Yes, I am."

"All right," Remus said, breathing a silent sigh of relief at this step forward. "I'll get them from her tomorrow." 

Any hope Severus might have harbored of returning to cat form immediately after dinner was dashed when Teddy leaned over and stretched his arms out toward Severus as far as he could, which pleased Remus for more reasons than one, but mainly because he was concerned about how upset Teddy would be if his beloved cat disappeared again. Severus appeared uncertain at first, but at Remus' encouragement, he reached out and liberated Teddy from the high chair. Within ten minutes, Teddy had him on the floor, setting up blocks for Teddy to play with. Teddy was beaming, and while Severus looked as if he wasn't quite certain how he ended up where he was, he didn't seem inclined to run off at any moment.

Remus stood back and watched, not wanting to intrude, especially since he doubted Severus would welcome his company; he had the opportunity to study Severus for the first time, and he surprised himself by liking what he saw. Apparently, living as a house cat had been good for Severus, because he didn't look thin to the point of gauntness; for the first time that Remus could remember, Severus had some meat on his bones, and it suited him. Remus supposed by rights, he ought to be angry or resentful toward Severus for the way Severus had treated him over the years, especially the year Remus had returned to teach at Hogwarts the first time, but after surviving two wars, Remus was inclined to let the past go and focus on a more peaceful future. After hearing what Severus had done in his role as a spy, Remus was inclined to be sympathetic rather than scornful, and whatever Severus had done for good or ill during the wars, it was obvious to Remus now that he was damaged. Not broken, perhaps, but in need of a safe place to recuperate, and Remus could offer that. Besides, it was hard to stay angry at someone who had curled up in his lap and purred more times that he could remember. 

Over the next few days, Remus continued encouraging Severus to revert to human form and remain there for longer periods of time, being careful to make clear that Severus was being given a choice, not an ultimatum, and Severus seemed to respond well; even better, he was no longer giving Remus the cold shoulder, which made the process of reintegrating Severus into his own life much easier. On the day that Severus spent the entire afternoon in a squashy chair by the fireplace, engrossed in potions journals, Remus thought perhaps they had turned a rather significant corner. 

The downside, Remus thought as he watched Severus scribbling notes in the margin of a journal, was that Teddy wouldn't be the only one to feel the loss once Severus decided he was well enough to manage on his own. Remus hadn't realized how attached he'd become to Severus-the-cat until suddenly there was no little furry body rubbing against his legs or snuggling close at night. He'd enjoyed the companionship of the cat, and he was enjoying the companionship of the man as well. True, Severus still didn't say much, but he let Remus draw him into conversation in the evening once Teddy was in bed, and Severus' silence was no longer of the cold, cutting variety; rather, it seemed he had simply grown accustomed to not speaking, and he'd never been a chatterbox to begin with. Despite Severus' taciturnity, Remus had grown accustomed to having another person around, not to mention an extra pair of hands to help with Teddy.

 _The only thing that would make it better was if we were shagging_ , he thought, giving himself a start in the process. That he was attracted to a man wasn't the surprise; that he was attracted to _Severus_ was. Then again, he'd always been drawn to the tall, dark Slytherin type; even as a young man, he'd found Regulus Black more appealing than Regulus' more accessible brother. Maybe, he thought with a wry snort, he was drawn to men he didn't stand a chance with.

Three days before Christmas, Remus invited Severus to accompany him and Teddy into Hogsmeade for some last-minute gift shopping, and he was pleasantly surprised when Severus agreed. He had chosen Hogsmeade rather than Diagon Alley because he thought it might be less crowded and thus less overwhelming for Severus; unfortunately, he hadn't counted on all the _other_ last-minute holiday shoppers who were crowding into the shops. Severus managed well enough at first, even doing a little shopping of his own for Teddy and Minerva, but as the staring escalated to whispers and pointing and the throngs of people grew louder and more boisterous, Remus could see Severus' features growing harder and more set, and he could see the tell-tale frown line deepening between Severus' eyebrows.

"Shall we go?" Remus asked quietly, grasping Severus' arm and finding him stiff with tension. "I'm finished if you are."

A terse nod was all the response he got, and since Teddy was drooping as well, Remus Apparated them to the gates of Hogwarts. Once they were back in their quarters, Teddy went down for his nap quickly, but Severus seemed restless, almost agitated, and after a few minutes of watching him pace, Remus decided to take a risk.

"Come on, then," he said, patting his lap.

Severus whirled and stared at him, visibly surprised, but after a moment's hesitation, Severus transformed and leaped into Remus' lap, curling up in a tight ball. Remus stroked his back and murmured soothingly to him, and finally, he felt the tense little body beneath his hand begin to relax, and then Severus began to purr.

"Small doses," he said, scritching Severus' ears gently. "We'll remember that for next time."

The only response was a sleepy "mrr."


	4. Chapter 4

Severus wasn't at all surprised when the invitation to a party on Christmas Eve at The Burrow arrived and Remus and Teddy's names were on it but Severus' was not; he also wasn't surprised when Minerva received an invitation, but he did not. He also wasn't disappointed. Although Remus offered to take him as a guest or to prod the Weasleys into extending an invitation to him, he refused; the thought of spending an evening in the midst of a crowd of people didn't appeal to him, especially not _that_ crowd of people. As little as he liked to admit it, he still didn't cope well with large groups of people, thus he was content to remain at Hogwarts alone on Christmas Eve.

He passed a couple of quiet hours reading, but then a wave of restlessness hit him, as it sometimes did, although the intervals were getting farther and farther apart; he dealt with it by taking a walk around the castle, nodding to familiar portraits along the way, and he found his steps turning toward the Great Hall. Inside, all was quiet and dark except for the fairy lights twinkling on the enormous Christmas tree, which was decorated with ornaments in the colors of each House and accented with non-melting icicles that gleamed in the light.

Torches flared to life as he entered the room, and the huge fireplace blazed with a warming flame while overhead, stars glittered in the magical night sky. This was where it had all began for Severus and where it had ended for others, although he didn't like to remember what he had been told about the Great Hall housing the fallen dead. Here, he had been Sorted into Slytherin, had eaten countless meals at the Slytherin table and then countless more at the head table, and then he had presided as headmaster, albeit briefly; he had run the gamut of roles, and he wasn't certain there was a place for him here any longer.

He sat down at the end of the Slytherin table nearest the head table and faced the tree, gazing at the fairy lights and letting the restful scene lull him into a contemplative state. So much of his life had been spent thinking about what to _do_ that he'd never had much time to _be_ , and he supposed that was part of the appeal of remaining in cat form. It gave him freedom as well as a respite, but he knew Minerva was right: he couldn't live out the rest of his life as a cat, tempting though it may be. The problem was, he didn't know what else to do.

He supposed the first logical step was leaving Hogwarts and returning to Spinner's End. Remus had been patient, seemingly in no hurry to push Severus out the door, but as much as he loathed the thought of returning to that dingy little box of a house alone, he knew he couldn't presume on Remus' hospitality forever. He wasn't part of that family, and he wasn't a teacher, thus he didn't belong at Hogwarts any longer. After the new year, the students would return, and Severus needed to be gone. He would allow himself the luxury of remaining through Christmas and enjoy the illusion of belonging somewhere, but on Boxing Day, he would go. He had no idea what he would do once he left, but he would think of something. If all else failed, he could put his house up for sale and relocate somewhere where no one knew or cared about his sordid past.

"Severus?"

The unexpected salutation jarred him out of his reverie, and he instinctively sat up straighter as he turned to see Remus approaching.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked, regarding him with seeming concern.

"I'm fine," he replied brusquely.

"You looked deep in thought." Remus sat down on the bench beside him, not close enough that their arms brushed, but not a significant distance away, either. "Is something bothering you?"

"No." Severus turned his gazed down to his clasped hands in his lap, debating how much he wanted to divulge. He supposed it would be rude to leave without giving notice, especially since Remus had been quite charitable in letting him remain as long as he had. "I've decided to leave Hogwarts after Christmas," he said at last.

"So soon?" Remus sounded surprised, and when Severus glanced at him, there was none of the relief Severus had expected to see in his face.

"I've imposed long enough," Severus replied. "Besides, Minerva will have a difficult time explaining my presence once the new term begins."

"She'd find a way, I'm sure." Remus frowned slightly and shook his head. "Really, Severus, I don't think this is a good idea. You've only just seemed to get comfortable with being a human most of the time again, and I'd rather not risk you running away if you get overwhelmed again. It'll be better if you stay here until you're certain you're ready to face things on your own." He paused, and then he added quickly, "Not that you'll be entirely on your own. You'll have me and Minerva, and Teddy has grown rather fond of you, of course. It won't be like last time."

"I thought you would be glad." Severus stared at him, puzzled. The last thing he'd expected was for Remus to encourage him to stay.

"Not really." Remus smiled and shrugged. "I've grown accustomed to having you around."

"You just want a pet who'll keep your feet warm at night," Severus replied with a snort.

"There are ways of keeping me warm at night that don't require you to be furry."

 _That_ made Severus' heart lurch in his chest, and he watched Remus carefully, unsure of what to say next, but fortunately, Remus relieved him of the necessity.

"Do I need to pretend there's mistletoe hanging above us?" Remus asked, a teasing note in his voice as he leaned closer, and Severus shook his head and met Remus half-way.

The first kiss was tentative as they adjusted noses and proceeded with caution lest the other decided to call it off at the last minute in a fit of better judgment. The second kiss was deeper and wetter, and Severus discovered he liked the feel of Remus' hand clamped on the back of his head, anchoring him in place while Remus explored his mouth with leisurely thoroughness. By the time Remus began unfastening his robes, they were both breathing heavily, and Severus didn't want to stop, but he batted Remus' hands away nonetheless.

"Not here," he said, licking his lips as he gazed at Remus from beneath his lashes. "At the Gryffindor table."

Remus laughed and reached for his hand to draw him to his feet, and he allowed Remus to lead him over to the Gryffindor table; once there, Remus pushed him against the edge of the table and leaned in for another kiss, and somewhere in the middle of it, a charm made short work of the endless row of black jet buttons down the front of Severus' robes. Remus slipped his hand beneath the heavy fabric and caressed Severus' chest and back with the same gentle, sweeping motions with which he might have caressed Severus-the-cat, and Severus couldn't help but arch and purr beneath Remus' stroking hand. All doubts and reservations melted away as Remus mapped Severus' torso with kisses and licks, and by the time Remus urged him up onto the table, he was eager to comply. He bent his knees and braced his feet on the table, letting his legs fall open wide when Remus banished his underpants and bent to nuzzle his abdomen, which sent a quiver along his spine.

Remus dragged his tongue along the underside of Severus' cock and mouthed his balls, teasing him with delicate licks from base to tip until he was clenching and unclenching his fists helplessly, his entire body growing taut with need, and his cry echoed in the vast room when Remus engulfed his cock with wet heat at last. He buried his fingers in Remus' hair and draped his legs over Remus' shoulders, rocking his hips in a desperate bid for more friction, more stimulation, more _anything_ that would give him the release that was eluding him, but Remus was merciless, driving him to the edge and dragging him back again and again until he was writhing beneath Remus and begging, scarcely aware of what he was saying - and then he came with an incoherent roar, his knuckles white in Remus' hair as Remus sucked and licked as hungrily as if Severus tasted even better than dark chocolate.

Severus scarcely had a chance to catch his breath before Remus pushed his thighs apart, muttered charms to stretch and prepare him, and then Remus was inside him, and it wasn't just the purely physical pleasure of being filled with a wonderfully thick, hard cock that felt so damned good, but the sense of a missing piece clicking into place at last as well. Severus locked his legs around Remus' waist and clung to Remus' shoulders as Remus pounded into his pliant body, each hard thrust desperate, relentless, merciless until Remus threw back his head and cried out, riding Severus with rough abandon throughout his release.

Panting, Remus eased out, and Severus released him with reluctance, not wanting to give up the connection so soon. Remus straightened and let his robes fall back into place, and then he cleaned them both up with a charm before offering his hand to help Severus up.

"Hopefully, that gave you more incentive to stay than to run away screaming."

Severus clasped Remus' hand and sat up, eying Remus speculatively. "Is that an offer?"

"Yes," Remus replied simply, still holding Severus' hand in a firm, warm grip. "A place to stay and all the shagging you want with no time limit attached. Deal?"

"Deal." Severus couldn't quite believe how quickly things had changed - and for the better at that - but he wasn't about to turn down the best offer he'd ever had, and Remus' answering smile affirmed his choice.

"Shall we go home and put out the presents from Father Christmas, then?" Remus asked, giving his hand a little tug, and Severus slid off the table and refastened his buttons with a charm. "I've got some spiked eggnog for afterward."

Severus nodded, not minding that Remus didn't relinquish his hand as they headed for the door. "You didn't stay at the party as long as I thought you would," he remarked.

"Teddy was tired, and I..." Remus smiled and shrugged again, the gesture matter-of-fact. "I wasn't where I really wanted to be."

It would have been easier for Severus to transform and leap into Remus' arms to nuzzle him, since offering affection came more easily for him as a cat, but he knew it was time to stop taking refuge in that form. Instead, he stopped and bent his head to kiss Remus, and he heard Remus hum softly as if with pleasure as they lingered over a kiss that was light but so very warm. When he drew back, Severus felt as if a bargain had been struck and sealed; it was hardly the first time in his life that he'd felt that way, but it was the first time it didn't give him a sense of being trapped. 

"Spiked eggnog, you said?" he asked.

"It's from Minerva, so it's heavily spiked," Remus replied, and then his expression turned mischievous. "I have some catnip, too."

Severus gave a haughtily derisive snort at that, but he let Remus clasp his hand again and twine their fingers.

"Home, then?" Remus asked, the question in his eyes seeking more than the obvious answer.

"Yes," Severus affirmed, tugging Remus into motion once more. "Home."

-end-


End file.
